Purpose Series: 8 Ways to Master your Mindset in order to Live Your Purpose.

I have been in a quest to define “mind” appropriately for this article, and that’s when I landed on the Devil’s Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. In this dictionary, he defines the mind as “a mysterious form of matter secreted by the brain, engaged in a futile attempt to understand itself with nothing but itself to know itself with.”

The definition throws in an important question: “Can we actually understand our mind using the mind itself?”.

This question is quite relevant considering the recent study done by Queen’s University in Kingston, Canada, found that an average person has 6,200 thoughts per day. Wow, that’s a lot of information to process. Of those, 80% are negative, and 95% are repetitive thoughts.

So when we talk about mastering our mindset, it also comes down to mastering our thoughts which are influenced by our beliefs, attitudes, biases, and perceptions. It affects the way we think, feel and act in any situation. To master your mind (and more specifically your thoughts) means to influence the way you live your life (and implicitly your purpose).

“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” — Mahatma Gandhi

Stephen Covey quotes that though a pilot knows the destination, he should fly to, 90% of the time, the plane is off course due to weather conditions, turbulence, and other factors. He keeps on receiving feedback from the instruments to course-correct and move forward to reach the destination right finally. Stephen defines the destination as the values you live by.

Mindset is what does the course correction; hence, knowing the destination isn’t enough; having the right mindset to correct when you are off the path is critical to hitting your goals.

Mindset mastery is self-awareness-based curiosity, passion, emotional mastery, decisive, and solution-focused. Mindset Mastery is all about how you positively perceive your results and your lives, focusing on solutions rather than the problems, thriving rather than surviving, and is the dance between mind and the heart.

Here are few ways you can Master your mindset:

1. Self-awareness

Self-awareness is key to mindset mastery. Discovering who you are, understanding what triggers you and what is crucial for you is critical.

When you think of a growth mindset, the growth you generally look at is always outward-focused. But the true power lies when that growth is inward-focused, says Dori Woodbury. For that inner growth, you have to dive deeper, start trusting that you have the answers you are looking for, trust that you know what you are doing, and surround yourself with the right people. Having a growth mindset (the belief that you are in control of your own ability and can learn and improve) is the key to success.

The self-discovery journey is the most difficult but the most enlightening journey you will ever embark on..!

Mastering the mindset involves not just mind work but a combination of mind, body, and soul. This internal community of yours should be balanced. Another reason why you should be self-aware is to understand when your purpose reveals itself as you live it. When your Why drives you, your mind, body, and soul are aligned.

Discovering who you are is the first step. It helps you tune in to your intuition and use your mind as a tool to guide you through. The mind then becomes the most powerful tool you have in your arsenal.

2. Build on your values.

Minakshi Dahya my friend and a business coach recounts one of her experiences in which she lost an earring and was desperately searching for it. Her mom responds, stop searching as if you have lost everything; you still have your heart and soul. That experience taught her an important lesson about her values. Accumulation and possession aren’t a value, but a heart to give and a soul to keep thriving to do your best is.

Identify your core values. Build a mindset based on your values. That will help you look at your challenges from the right perspective and drive your direction. Understanding your values will guide your mind when it is lost to get back on track.

3. The Inner dialogue

Your thoughts determine your action. How you act today defines your future. As per the research, out of the 6200 thoughts per day, 80% of them are negative thoughts which Dr. Daniel Amen, a psychiatrist and brain disorder specialist, called ANTS (Automatic Negative Thoughts). Yes, you got it right. Most of these negative thoughts are automatic as our brain is wired to look for adverse circumstances for our survival.

Jim Kwik gives a twist to ANTS, calling it Automatic Negative Talks. He says you can change your thoughts by changing your inner dialogue, your self-talk.

First, you acknowledge your negative thoughts, ask yourself if it is true (most of the times, it’s not), and then replace them with positive affirmative statements. The positive affirmative statements will then drive your thoughts. This is why Positive Affirmation (PATS) is a powerful technique used in mindfulness practices to uplift your life. What you say to yourself plays a crucial role in driving your thoughts, feelings, how you act, and hence the results.

Every situation will demand a different inner dialogue to keep you motivated; this is a constant process. Be the gatekeeper of your mind and plant seeds of positive, inspirational thoughts. Managing your thoughts is critical to mastering your mindset and hence your future. Reason. Validate. Replace.

Use your inner dialogue to replace ANTS with PATS.

4. Desire to Succeed

Mindset is all about perspectives. If it’s all about perspectives, then rather than having negative, why don’t we have optimistic perspectives? A negative perspective doesn’t serve you anyway. Having an optimistic perspective will increase the likelihood of formulating a winning strategy. Self-driven, self-motivated people are successful because they know that adversity may test your limits but can’t break you unless you allow it.

AJ Philp, a businesswoman turned coach, says, “I got my degree at the age of 40, I had a baby at the age of 50. If I wanted something, nothing would stop me from achieving it; having that harnessing drive that unwavering determination helped me in engaging sustained efforts. Achieving a goal requires more than a lukewarm desire to succeed. Mindset is where the rubber meets the road.”

Have the relentless drive to succeed, drive to achieve what you want. Nothing else matters.

5. Dump the garbage

Do you collect garbage and store it in your house? Of course not, that stinks…! Then why do you keep collecting mental waste and bottle that up inside you?

We carry around a lot of mental garbage, we think we let go. But all that we have done is reshuffle it. You have to dump that garbage. You do many things because it becomes a habit and not because it serves you. It is essential to address your emotions than hide them away. Dump. Don’t reshuffle the garbage.

Create a deeper connection with yourself; audit your life, thoughts, and the trash you have collected. Awareness and meditation can help. Start from looking within, journal your thoughts. Journaling enables you to see patterns. Do you see a pattern of thoughts that doesn’t serve you? Dump them. If journaling doesn’t help, get the support of a coach.

Are you holding a grudge with someone? Forgive them, not for them but for you. The grudge is the trash you are carrying. The same is the case of any bad habits or beliefs; dump them.

Carrying mental garbage around not only impacts those around you but also doesn’t serve you. It impacts your behavior and will consume the precious energy you can use for other productive tasks. Dump it, get it dusted and done.

6. Revamp. Readjust. Realign

Minakshi Dahya recounts what her mother said when they lost all their belongings during a trip, they took for her sister’s marriage. She was composed and said, “the person who received it probably has five daughters that need to be married. Hope that helps them.”

Mindset is about learning to adjust in an ever-changing world. Sometimes things happen which are beyond your control. In the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey discusses Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern.

When you focus on the things you can influence, slowly your circle of influence expands; gradually, those you can’t influence become influenceable. ~Stephen Covey

Take a note of your circumstance look at how you can make those circumstances better. Revamp, readjust and realign if required.

7. Unlearn to learn to relearn.

Alvin Toffler, the well-known futurist, wrote:

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.

Unlearning is the process of shedding away some parts of your memory. When you unlearn, you forget what you learned and put it away. Unlearn the habits, perspectives, and beliefs that don’t serve you to have space to learn those that serve you. Unlearn to learn and relearn new habits, perspectives, and beliefs that drive your thoughts and hence your mindset.

8. Control = Resistance. Be an observer.

One of the most common questions that get asked is: How do we control our mind?

The word control generally has a negative connotation to it. Control breeds resistance. When a child is controlled, they resist, acknowledge what they feel, support and respect them, then the child will be more open to what you say. The same is the case of your mind. Become an observer of your thoughts, then choose how you want to respond, says Kelly Turner. It will help you create the growth mindset you are looking for. The fact is that when you know yourself better, you no longer have to control your mind because now you will be making more of a conscious choice.

When you choose based on the information you have, it will be an informed choice that you rarely regret.

In the book Mindset: the new psychology of success, written by Carol Dweck, she differentiates between a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and recounts why individuals with a growth mindset are successful. I want to close this article with some of my key learnings from the book:

What is a growth mindset?

It is not “if you are a genius, all comes easy” attitude; it is “with effort everything is possible” attitude.

It is not “being born talented”; it is about improving and self-correcting.

It is not being fearless; it is about acknowledging the fear and managing it.

It is not that you don’t fail; it’s about not letting that failure define you.

It is not about reaching the goal always; it is about finding joy in the process.

It is not about winning; it is having the character required to keep you on the top.

Success is not always about winning but knowing that you did your best considering the circumstances.

Failure is not a setback; it is a wake-up call, it should be motivating, and it should make you work harder.

I am a Jay Shetty Certified Life coach focusing on Self- Mastery and Career coaching. If you are struggling to live your purpose, let us hop on a call and decide how we can work together. Drop me a message for details.

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Books recommended:

1. Mindset the new psychology of Success by Carol Dweck.
2. Unlearn: 101 Simple Truths for a Better Life by the Humble Poet.
3. Thinking Fast & Slow Summary by Daniel Kahneman